Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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