stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
