watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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