drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
