She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
