dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
