So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
