It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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