Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
The ass gains better be worth it
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