I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
i now understand why vodka
Randomize
