I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
