My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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