Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
