A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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