I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
