dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
