There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
COCAINE IS GR8
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
