covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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