erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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