508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
