My first STD was from a foam party
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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