Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
