You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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