??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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