I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm šš»š
We are so blessed
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Everything isnāt always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes thereās tequila.
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