I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
