She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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