Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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