i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
