No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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