sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I have feelings that need drinking.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
