I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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