He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
