Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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