I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
