You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
