If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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