I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
