..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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