so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
