She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
