You don't have asthma, your pregnant
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
