After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
