We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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