Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
