I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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