So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
