So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
