The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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