make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
